“offsetting”

(a.k.a. slaying those old stories with new ones)

I was sitting in the hot tub tonight overlooking the ocean, thinking about how I’ve been stewing over a stressful event that took place a couple of days ago. I was listening to my latest audiobook selection, that I’ve committed to listening to each day for an hour.

“When I spend more time on mindset”, I thought, “I make bigger strides… even though I’ve technically been spending more time being “inactive” and not “doing” things”.

I had been spending so much time trying to process this negative, hurtful thing that had happened, however, there had been moments I had completely forgotten about it, such as spending time with the musicking group I run, or talking to people who love and cherish me… and one of those people said, “I am so glad you were able to offset that hurt a little by being around so much goodness” (or something to that effect).

That word, offset, stuck to me like a burr to a sock going through the bush.

Offset.

Tonight as I sat in the hot tub listening to this book (Worthy by Jamie Kern Lima) and thinking about how much listening to these books on mindset help me forward, I realized that spending time with new ways of thinking, with motivational material, people who support me in such meaningful and consistent ways, the ones who show up… I realize all of it has this way of transforming my voice.

When I feed my soul, my mind, and my heart with words and experiences that support my vision and how I want to think, feel and act, then I start to change my way of thinking. I start overriding what has been, with what is, and what will be.

Offsetting my old stories by feeding myself the new stories and beliefs that I’m moving towards gives me momentum on my journey.

When I offset this way, I am being pulled more heavily in a forward direction than complacently allowing my old stories to pull me backwards, into the grooves that have already been established through continuing to tell myself those stories.

And although processing the event and being pissed off about it was helpful and necessary (and I’m talking, really allowing myself to be mad, really allowing myself to feel all the painful feelings —or as Cory Muscara would say, “when we refuse to feel our pain so as not to be imprisoned by it, we organize our lives around avoiding it, creating a new prison in which we must abide”), I realize part of my work, and effort, is to bring in the forces of who I am becoming, and allow that energy to radiate so strongly around me, that the gratitude becomes unmistakable for what is not for me. The ability to let go becomes easier.

My heart is clearing itself in both directions.

Offsetting is an active forging. A determined commitment. A train, gaining speed and force.

Choo Choo…